Stingray: a blog for salty Christians

March 30, 2006

When bad friends happen to Godly people

Dave Burchett, who is a kindred Garland Texas resident, dropped me a line today regarding his website, Confessions of a Bad Christian. It’s a great site and I especially liked his article, “When Bad Friends Happen to Godly People,” as well as his followups to the article. Now I haven’t had any bad friends lately, but I have been going through my shares of trials and tribulations recently as I’ve shared in my articles Christian Pain and Suffering and A Psalm of Sorrow and Pain. The book of Job means more to me now than at pretty much anytime in my life.

“Do not assume that someone going through trials is at fault for their difficulties. And do not assume that they are not at fault. Allow God to handle both of those duties.”

Dave’s articles speak to me and I think that they speak to a lot of other people as well. I want you to go visit his site but first I would like to share a few gems with you:

Do not assume that someone going through trials is at fault for their difficulties. And do not assume that they are not at fault. Allow God to handle both of those duties. Eliphaz arrogantly proclaimed that it was his “observation” that you reap what you sow. That is a principle that is often true but we know from God’s Word that Job’s trials were unrelated to sin or evil in his life. Eliphaz jumped to an incorrect and hurtful conclusion before knowing the facts. Listen first. Allow wounded and hurting friends to express their frustration and pain. This goes against every natural instinct that most of us possess. I am prone to want to jump in and fix the problem. God is teaching me to listen, pray and allow the Holy Spirit to direct my words and actions.

When you are with a brother or sister going through deep trials I would suggest using any one of the following three strategies.

1. Be empathetic and listen.
2. Be empathetic and listen.
3. Be empathetic and listen.

Here are a couple of excerpts from Dave’s latest article, “Job Takes on His Friends:”

Application from Job. There is much to learn about approaching those who are hurting from the words of Job. His friend’s judgments and neatly wrapped solutions only added to his hurt. It is indeed easy to offer reasons when someone else is going through hurt and difficulties. I pray that we will show grace to the wounded. First, because they need it but more selfishly because we soon may need that very grace returned.

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. (Galatians 6 MsgB)

Job has more to offer about the ineffectiveness of his friends.

“Job was looking for comfort and not theological insight and debate from his friends”

“I’ve had all I can take of your talk. What a bunch of miserable comforters! Job 16:2 (MsgB)

Application: It would seem rather obvious that Job was looking for comfort and not theological insight and debate from his friends. He had already decided to hold steadfast to God. He just needed his friends to be actual friends. It is an interesting twist because Scripture records that the original mission for his friends was to do exactly what Job needed from them.

Go and enjoy Dave’s site and learn from his wisdom.

Technorati and del.icio.us tags...