Stingray: a blog for salty Christians

April 12, 2006

Rory Blyth on corporate training and alternative medicine

Rory Blyth has a hilarious article on corporate training and alternative. Yes, folks, there is a connection. It’s a wonder that Microsoft tolerates Rory. He must have the negatives of Bill Gates at the office Christmas party or something even more sinister. Here are a few excerpts:

And, how do you take it? How many milligrams per day? What’s the right dose for, say, ginseng when you’re using it as an energy booster? How often should you take it? How will you know if it’s working? Could it possibly mix with other medications or substances and lead to a cumulative negative effect?

Let’s go back to the ginkgo. You’re taking it to get smarter. You also take an aspirin a day because you’ve been told that it thins the blood, and so decreases the likelihood of stroke and other embolism related conditions. And, just because Oprah’s have little Oprahgasms for it, you decide to start taking vitamin E in huge quantities, too. Hey – it’s an antioxidant, and oxidants sure as hell sound like something you don’t want in your body.

Then, one day, you wind up in the hospital. Why? Because it turns out that, whatever ginkgo’s supposed therapeutic effects, it does thin the blood. Aspirin is also thinning the blood. And, as you’re probably guessing by now, so does vitamin E. And, because Oprah likes vitamin E so much, you’ve really overdone it and taken much more than your body needs. That’s why you’re being treated for “spontaneous bilateral subdural hematoma,” which is a fancy way of saying, “Your blood was so assing thin because of all the stupid supplements you were taking that you just started to bleed in both hemispheres, and this is very, very bad.”