A few days ago, the liberals were aghast that President Bush placed his hands on Angela Merkel’s shoulders as she was sitting at a table, surprising her a bit until she realized who it was. Now we have an inside scoop from Newsweek’s story How Bush Handled the Mideast Crisis. We first learn that Russian’s President Putin groped Condi Rice — in a golf cart, nonetheless!

Putin arrives in his white electric cart. Bush climbs in and calls Rice and Hadley over to join them. Rice has been making cell-phone calls to the Middle East all morning and is distracted. She doesn’t even glance at her driver as she steps into the cart. But when he turns around and smiles at her, she realizes the chauffeur is the Russian president. “Oh,” she says as Putin leans over to embrace her. “Good morning, Mr. President!”

This is clearly out of bounds. Putin is an embarrassment to Russia — a dour-faced frat boy, likely drunk to the point of passing out on cheap Russian vodka, shocking Condi Rice with a public grope as if she were nothing more than a house slave. What kind of world leader is that? Would he do that if she were white? Obviously Putin is not ready for prime time.

But wait, there’s more:

Bush straightens his red tie and pats Putin on the back.

Bush gropes Putin in retaliation against Putin’s grope of Condi. Tit for tat, as it were. Rice can count on her leader to come to her aid.

Now we come to the most frightening scene of all — a photograph of Great Britain’s Prime Minister Tony Blair groping President Bush! That naughty little gnome sure is a cheeky fellow! Bush is definitely not smiling. Is Blair getting revenge on Bush for groping Merkel? Is the “special relationship” between Great Britain and the United States even more special than we knew? Blair is certainly not fit to be a world leader if he gets his jollies groping presidents in public.

Personally, I believe that what happens at G8 should stay in G8. But when the group groping becomes public, then it’s time for citizens of all countries to stand up and say, “enough is enough.” What with wars breaking out everywhere and people starving, our world leaders need to work on solving these problems, not acting out their sexual fantasies in public.

Oh, how I long for the days when Clinton was president.

UPDATE:  Lebanese Prime Minister Fuad Saniora kissed Condoleeza Rice on both cheeks when they met on July 24th. Oh, the humanity!