I’m not promoting a conspiracy theory, just trying to put myself into the mental state of being a Democrat. Here are some verrrrry unusual things about last night’s surprise win by Hillary.
UPDATE — 1/9/2008 12:30 CST: I was mostly jesting but it appears that the mainstream media, who have fallen in love with Obama over the past few weeks, is wondering about the funky results.
- Check out what ABC’s polling expert, Gary Langer, has to say. He’s calling for an investigation.
- Major allegations of vote fraud in New Hampshire — Ron Paul and Barack Obama hardest hit.
- Why Clinton victory doesn’t compute.
- New Hampshire election fraud.
- GOP Already at Work to Keep Obama Voters from the Polls — It’s Bush’s fault! Minorities and poor hardest hit.
Mysterious exit polls
The current wisdom is that Bush stole the 2004 presidency because exit polls showed Kerry to be the winner. At 8:07 PM last night, FOXNews.com reported exit polling data showing Obama beating Hillary by 5 points. Don’t worry, the liberals at Slate Magazine attributes the discrepancy to Obama “supporters” lying to to the exit polls. Yeah, right.
If Kerry won in 2004 because of the accuracy of the exit polls, then Obama won New Hampshire last night because of the accurary of the exit polls.
Phony extra ballots
A number of stories appeared yesterday about how New Hampshire polling places needed extra ballots because of high Democrat turnouts. Could Hillary have absconded with those exit ballots and ran them through stolen voting machines at her headquarters?
Of course not. Only Republicans steal elections. Like, uh, when Republican Lyndon Baines Johnson stole the 1948 Texas Senate election by 87 votes. Um, oh, Johnson was a Democrat? Nevermind.
Today’s news slant on Hillary’s win
I listened to an interview of ABC’s Charlie Gibson this morning, and he declared that Hillary turned the election around when her voice cracked and she was “near tears” on January 7th. He said that Hillary’s “near tears” defined the moment when people began to perceive her as being human. Nevermind that she had a notecard in her purse that said, “fake a cry at 11:17 AM”. The Clintons are consummate planners and nothing in her campaign happens that hasn’t been passed by Bill and his favorite polling groups.
Of course, the last time Hillary tried to be human, she cackled like the Wicked Witch of the East. Phony cackling didn’t work, so she tried phony tears.
The bottom line is tha Hillary stole the 2008 New Hampshire primary. There is much cackling at the Clinton campaign headquarters today as they celebrate her “victory.”